The Bums will always lose

(A story of ethics, sacrifice and winning softball games)

by: Rune Jensen

“The bums will always lose,” 3 Fingers thought standing on the mound, looking in on the final batter.

“The bums will always lose!”

The Achievers were leading by a score of three runs to nothing against the Old Stars, down to their final strike. But the 3 Fingers knew that whatever they did, they were fucked! The god damn plane was crashing into the mountain, and he was the pilot.

Throwing one more strike would complete the shutout, and finish the game on a high note. But that one strike would also make sure that the nihilists from Whoresolm would win the division, and the Achievers can’t stand nihilists!

Time for plan B?

Walk in four runs. Lose the game, and go grab some burgers and a micro brew, while smiling at the fact that Whoresolm, with all its national team players and suburban nepotism would NOT manage to clinch the 2nd division.


No problemo, man.

Exept for one small detail. Ethics. In an anarcistic sandlot community like ours, ethics draws a lot of water.

The Achievers called time-out to answer one question: "What makes an Achiever?" Is it doing the right thing no matter the cost?


In this case the sacrifice would be ultimate...


Doing our honest best and winning the game meant the nihilists would win the division.

They might not have liked it, but the Achievers could not, and would not compromise on the very thing that makes them unique to the danish softball community. They could not simply disregard their notion of fair play - even when it came to nihilism.

A strike was thrown, the out was recorded, and the game was over. A victory, but a painful one it was.

Our revolution was over; righteousness had been sacrificed on the alter of ethics.

And to this, the bums will always abide.