08/14/11

Gutterballs

So without any opponents available to play your lovable Achievers yesterday, we rolled up our sleeves, braved the rain and played four hours of soggy, sloppy baseball.


Starting with a home-run derby contest, each of the six contestants had two homers to their name with Lukwata up and one out to go. He crushed a long line-drive in the left-center field gap and suddenly got on his horse and showed some surprising giddy'up by taking off around the bases, attempting to win on pure guile. The relay throw came in, missing the cut-off man, but Feebles was there at third to collect the miniature orb out of the mud and attempt a sweep-tag on the seamonster rushing toward home, and whoosh, he missed!  Lukwata's safe at home! The first HR derby in history to end on an inside-the-park homer.


During the contest, somebody hit a foul ball off the roof of the clubhouse that landed a little-too-perfectly in the goddamn gutter. As anybody who's held a wet baseball knows, that thing turns into a heavy, soggy rock making it difficult to throw and hit. And then the rains came.

 

We did a lot of infield practice after the derby, with dudes playing wherever, moving around a bit, and trying to get a feel for this suddenly small hardball. For, you see, the only good news to come out of this week is that we've managed to salvage a Baseball Tournament for this summer. With the help of our man Raz and Aarhus Rod, looks like the tournament will be on Sept. 3 and 4 in Ballerup. There will be three teams: team Jylland, team Sjaelland, and Team Urban Achievers. Yeee-haw!

But boy did we look lousy and lethargic out there! Gonna have to get out and play as much as possible between now and then. We may be artists on the softball field, but baseball is a whole 'nuther ballgame.


Somehow, at some point, another ball landed directly in the gutter on the bounce. The third and final baseball started to lose its stitching by the end of this interminable day, where six Achievers refused to call it quits and persistently kept playing bad baseball in less-than-ideal conditions, simply to spite the weather demons and other supernatural forces at work against us at the moment. It's been exhausting, living in this Nihilist world. Just ask our teammate Eduardo Monsalvo. We're gonna miss you, amigo.

 

But by nightfall, the Achievers had conjured up enough energy to rendezvous at old Lort Nelson -- eight of us in all -- to share our sympathies over some Shit Island Sarsaparilla and wacky tobakee amongst friends and strangers, while the HR derby champ-of-the-day treated his fellow Achievers to another debaucherous night in the darkness of the deep blue sea.