09/04/11

Urban Achievers become National Baseball Champions!

After Cockadale canceled on us due to a lack of ass-pirates able to play, our spirits had officially reached a season low. Having gone winless since the All-Star Break, combined with multiple rainouts and cancellations, the summer had turned sour for your beloved Achievers.


But we didn't blame anyone for the loss of our legs. The persistence of Captain Raz to get a baseball game going...against anybody...anywhere...resulted in our being invited to compete for the Danish Baseball Cup to determine the national champion in a match between Team East vs. Team West.


The game would be played on neutral ground: Flensburg, Germany - in the historically contested area of Schleiswig-Holstein, just across the border. German umpires traveled from Hamburg to officiate the occasion. They brought their dog. A mean dog, nipping at anyone who went near it. The fucking dog had fucking papers.

The Flensburg baseball team also looked on -- grilling dogs, spinnin' tunes in between innings, and waiting to play a combined East/West DK All-Star squad in an exhibition match afterwards. Fans from near and far lined the first base line in anticipation of an epic showdown.

We did not disappoint. Seven of your favorite Achievers made the trip south to play with veteran hurler Bobby Kenney and young prospect Anton Brown. If you're not already familiar with the following Achievers, you'll get to know these bright, flowering young men soon enough...


1. Threefingers

2. Tucci

3. Feebles

4. Dudermensch

5. Lukwata

6. Daniel San

7. Captain Raz


Not exactly lightweights.

In fact, we were a bit too much for Team West and their player/manager/president Rod Moore. The poor guy almost had a heart attack yelling at baserunners, chasing passed balls and wild pitches behind the dish, sweating profusely, competing like a man possessed, and getting doubled off first base after Captain Raz made a great catch on a linedrive, and both old-timers lunged in slow-motion toward the bag...HE'S OUT!

The game was close for the first few innings, but then all hell broke loose and the Achievers showed no mercy. By the end of the 5th inning, we had a double-digit lead. Those poor Jutes. They played hard, but too many mistakes and walks and not enough hitting. I guess you could say they were out of their element.

You see...have you ever heard of Vietnam?  Well let's just say that the Achievers on Team East proved more than a worthy fuckin' adversary for the Jutlanders. Showing veteran patience at the plate, some electrifying baserunning, and a natural ability to hit the baseball, it was truly a lopsided affair.

The final score, 15-5 or maybe 19-4, ensured the Championship Cup was once again returned to Zeeland. Good night sweet prize, wherever you are.

 

                           *                      *                      *

 

The much-anticipated friendly match between Team Flensburg and the DK All-Stars got off to a fast start, with all seven Achievers contributing in the field and at the dish, batting through the entire lineup and taking an early 5-3 lead over z Germanz. But then the rains came. A downpour with no end in sight. The game was canceled and we ran for cover, collecting our gear and beer and whathaveyou. But not before getting a team victory photo with the championship trophy.

*Joe - where the fuck is that photo, man!?

 

Shoot. It sure was fun to play some baseball.

The Achievers can now look forward to a potential exhibition baseball match against Team Malmo in Sweden, if the weather holds up.


The dudes abide.